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她乐园

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凌晨两点,醒来,似乎睡着了,但没有休息后的放松,依旧是心跳不停。白天因为就业未来焦虑,突然的大哭,两三息之后擦擦眼泪重新思考,焦虑,再哭,周而复始。 专科的时候,自卑,憋着口气非得升本,升了个民办二本,就感觉万事大吉了,上了段时间,感觉专升本还是自卑,想考研,不顾就业形势就学,学着学着发现自己不是那块料。想凭着应届生身份考公考编,更是难如登天。 每天不停地焦虑“能考上吗”“考不上还没工作经验以后还活不活了”“我能参加西部计划吗”“干保姆吧,干个十几年挣点钱给父母养老”。经常的刚安慰好自己,“饿不死就行”,可是还是会在深夜醒来,重新陷入焦虑。 外面春风和煦,春阳明媚,我却身处无边的寒冬,我还能真的能迎来春天吗?

——written by 阿雩

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