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她乐园

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我的强迫行为最开始来源于小时候父母会偷窥我房间看我做什么,因此我会一遍遍地检查门有没有关紧,有没有留门缝。初中时,小区有户人家煤气灶没关导致火灾,印象深刻,我开始每天出门和睡觉前检查煤气灶,不是说看一眼就结束了,要站在前面看个五六七八九十眼,嘴里还会不断重复数字后来,上高中数学总是粗心,导致我开始将做过的题目一遍遍检查,一遍遍核对核对数字。现在的工作,也有很多东西要确认,每次都会确认很久,明明脑子知道没问题,但是心里放心不下,总要对个许多许多遍,过程特别焦虑。我现在每天睡觉前的固定流程时:检查煤气灶七八遍—检查门七八遍—检查水龙头七八遍—检查灯和插座按键七八遍—鞋子摆放—水杯盖子有没有盖,一切检查好了,才能睡觉,而一旦发现有什么忘了,不确定了,不管多冷,我都会起来重新检查。啊啊啊,太绝望了,有没有办法能治治我!

——written by momo

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